the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
