My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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