i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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