He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
