I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
