he was CRYING into my vagina
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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