i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
