he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
where are you?
Hypothermia
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
