Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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