I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
