apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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