dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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