It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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