Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
