Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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