roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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