He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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