Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
