We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
