But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
