I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
