Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
