its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
