We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize