You're so nebulous sometimes
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
