I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
