Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
