I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
