exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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