Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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