Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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