beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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