oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
