I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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