he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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