he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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