All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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