And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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