And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
