i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
