Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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