I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
