Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
