You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize