The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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