I faked an abortion last night.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
