Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
