Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
