You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize