I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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