I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
