just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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