If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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