ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
