Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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