Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
