I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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