dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
