oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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