She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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