My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He passed out mid-signature
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
