Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
