Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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