I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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