I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There r osticjed everywhere
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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