I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
