she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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