PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
