so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
