ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
