Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
