This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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