Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
