Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
